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Game Industry to Give Anita Sarkeesian special award, because of course it is

In which socially incompetent idiots heap praise on a bigger idiot as she insults them, because she’s mildly attractive. Sigh.

When the Game Developer Choice awards take place this year, they’ll be giving Anita Sarkeesian a special “ambassador award” for her “Tropes vs. Women in Video Games” series; proving once and for all that the best way to win the love and adoration of that special someone (or industry) is to loudly and constantly call them a piece of shit. In other words, Anita totes ran some sick neg on video games, and now video games will be giving her all the kino. Pick-Up Artistry works, apparently!

When Subtle Blend reached out to GDC organizers for comment, we were told that “Anita was right, we were wrong, we totally deserved it. These black eyes and bruises? They’re nothing, the entire games industry just fell down a flight of stairs. By awarding Anita our special ambassador award, we hope to show her that we can change, we know we can make her happy, we know we can make her want to be with us.”

Since she first came to prominence by raking in over $100,000 to produce shoddy YouTube videos rehashing flimsy talking points she had mostly already covered in cheaper, equally shoddy YouTube videos, Anita has faced many criticisms by people with two braincells to rub together the patriarchy. We shared some of these concerns with the anonymous GDC representative we reached, among them:

– Anita positions herself as an expert scholarly critic but does not regularly source her work, conduct internally valid research, or publish any sort of empirical, scientific thesis to report her findings. (To be fair, “go on webcam and make lipgloss bitchfaces while representing personal opinion as fact” might have been added to the scientific method when we weren’t looking. We did skip a few classes here and there, it’s totes possible.)

– Anita complains at length about things like a janky, amateurish “punch Anita Sarkeesian in the face” Flash game (resulting in said game being removed), but had no problem posting and endorsing “Kill (Gearbox Software president) Randy Pitchford” fanfiction on the Feminist Frequency website.

Anita has stated in the past that she is “not a fan” of video games and finds them “gross;” something that both contradicts her many public claims to enjoy them, and would seem to demolish any chance of fair, objective analysis.

Various segments from Anita’s videos line up perfectly with screens taken from Lets Play and official trailer videos on Youtube. At best, this implies she’s using other people’s work — without credit or payment — to make videos she raised six figures to produce. At worst, this means she isn’t actually playing the games she’s critiquing (Perhaps this explains the relative shallowness of her talking points, which often seem to be lifted wholesale from Wikipedia and TV Tropes).

The best way to win the industry’s adoration is to call it a piece of shit. (And be sort of pretty.)

In response to the above allegations, the GDC representative gave the following statement: “The motives and academic integrity of Anita’s project might be in serious question, but we loooooove her. You just don’t know her the way we do, you don’t know how caring she can be when we’re alone; off of Tumblr and away from camera lenses.”

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